Thursday, February 2, 2012

Single Mom: Ask Men

For the bachelor not yet burdened with a family, few scenarios are as daunting as dating a single mother. You may have been with a woman who was close to her family. You may have had to explain yourself to an overprotective father or brother, shotgun in hand. You may have had to bear the impossible weight of maternal expectations but nothing, I repeat nothing, can prepare you for the challenge of dating a single mother.

The usual player approach will not work. Nor will false compassion, where you feign interest in order to add another notch to your bedpost. In fact, if you attempt to use a routine from your vaunted repertoire to most single mothers, you will face a swift rebuke.

The game you play with other women may not have the same effect. I have always recommended that men be genuine and sincere in their love life but with a single mother, you should hardcode that nugget of advice on your cerebellum.

the game is not the same

Most men are conditioned with the impulse to treat dating like a hunt, a topic for another article but pertinent to the one at hand. In our subconscious, we connect to our primordial heritage via the modern ritual of seeking out a partner for life, or for tonight.

The metaphor of man as predator and woman as prey may seem crude but at the end of the day, many believe it. Because in order to succeed at dating, we have to impress the woman, or conquer her, so that she can choose us as a partner. The entire procedure is not as far removed from a courting scene on Animal Planet as we may think.

The twist is that, everything being equal, women have the power to decide whether the dating light is green or red. Male power is an illusion because it is granted to us by the female. If we push the magic buttons, the door opens. Check your masculine pride at the door and acknowledge that truth.

But how much of that biological, primordial theory do you buy? To be honest, I think some of it is logical, but I also believe that a generalization does not do people justice. The crucial point to keep in mind is that if you fall into the category of believer, then you have to wipe the slate clean and adopt a new philosophy if a single mother has captured your attention, or heart. Are you man enough to accept the challenge?


Read more: http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice_60/73_dating_tips.html#ixzz1lG0H1zbE

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